A highways agency warning said anyone traveling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, hat, gloves, 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, safety triangle, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads.
I looked a right тwат on the bus this morning
Alas, the addition of lye and salt (“Surströmming”) to the lutefisk didn’t prevent it from spoiling and Ollie, Sven and Lars tragically die eating bad Lutefisk and drinking too much Scandinavian aquavit. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven. …
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God says, “There are 3,000 steps to heaven. It’s very serious up there. I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh, you go to hеll.” …
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So they start walking and reach the first 1,000th step. God tells a hilarious joke, Lars laughs out loud and whoosh! goes straight to hеll. Ollie and Sven look at each other nervously. …
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On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and whoooosh! goes to straight to hеll…
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On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn’t laugh and proceeds to the gate.
Suddenly, Ollie bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, “What are you laughing about?”.
Ollie replies, “Oh dot’s funny. I yust got da furst yoke!”.