The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar and the bartender takes orders.

The CEO of Budweiser says
"I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says
"I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Killian's says
"These guys are amateurs, give me a Killian's Irish Red. It's smooth, flavorful, and distinct!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Guinness says
"I'll have a water."
The others give a confused look. The bartender says "but... why aren't you ordering a beer?"
He responds, "well, nobody else did."

Knock-knock

Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.

"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first bl*wjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

I was wondering why air is so polluted.

Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air".
Now it makes sense.

What's the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Thinnest Books

The Book Of Virtues By Bill Clinton
The Amish Phone Directory
Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating Etiquette
George Foreman's Big Book Of Baby Names
French Hospitality
Everything Women Know About Men
Everything Men Know About Women
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection Of Motivational Speeches
Different Ways To Spell Bob
Career Opportunities For Liberal Arts Majors
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific Ocean
The Wild Years-By Al Gore
Things I Would Not Do For Money-By Dennis Rodman
Human Rights Advances In China
To All The Men I've Loved Before-By Ellen Degeneres
The Engineer's Guide To Fashion
My Plan To Find The Real Killers-By O. J. Simpson
How To Land A Plane At Martha's Vineyard - By Jfk, Jr.