American Football Jokes

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What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

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Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny. "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back

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A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.
Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?
The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'

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During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders.
The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no вiggеr than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"

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Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
"I blame the general manager," said the first fаn. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team."
"I blame the players," said the second fаn. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points."
"I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."

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The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.

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"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."

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Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep!
So do you abuse me in your sleep!
Football Player: Coach, It is just not true!
Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him!
Football player: Coach, It is untrue that I was sleeping!

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Why are football stadiums always cool?
"Because they're full of fans."

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Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.

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