Jokes

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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fат kid and lit them on fire

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“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.”
“1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

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So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke.

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They say people are 75% water
But I’m 100% useless

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In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.

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How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.

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I think my coworkers are gаy. – Every time I walk by, they mumble, “What an аss.”

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What’s a Pedophiles Favorite type of garden
A kindergarden

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If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.

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My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks

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Rаре is such an ugly word, I prefer the term struggle snuggle

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Whats one thing gаy people can’t draw?
A straight line.

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I used to always think Uncles had a lot of money until I became one.

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You are going to Неll! You already there!

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- I trained the dragon - I raised the dracon. - I fuck the dragon

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Telling Husband you are going out for the night with the

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