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“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb”

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A реdорhilе lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”

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Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking’s house? No,he hasn’t either.

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What’s red and in a corner ?
A baby with a razor blade
What’s green and in a corner ?
The same baby three weeks later

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What does Stephen hawking have in common with a bull ? they both charge

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What leaves a вiggеr memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound

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I just found out I’m colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

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Whats red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt

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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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Winnie-the-Pooh DIDN'T want to get married, but the thought of upcoming HONEY moon was so tempting...

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- What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
- Naptime was a punishment

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If hard work pays, show me rich donkey

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What do you mean I need to behave?! He is standing on his head...

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Imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday. Every half hour it goes to your room opens the door, and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves.

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I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

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What’s the best part about haveing sеx with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them

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Someone вuтт dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only аsshоlеs want to speak to me.

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The gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 ваlls.

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