Jokes

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If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can´t Run

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Roses are red,
I dont know why,
Living is hard,
I want to die.

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Roses are red
My soul is black
I am never getting
My dad back

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There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys реnis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off”

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Why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples

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Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

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How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

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So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty ваsтаrds.

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What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree

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Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection

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99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that’s why it’s so hard to identify the rарisт.

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Me: Mom I’m tired
Mom:then go to sleep
Me: No you don’t understand-

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I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny воnе, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

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When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled…

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I got mad at my sister’s boyfriend so I fuскеd his girl

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What’s the difference between me and you?
I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.

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So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

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Two gаy guys, two lеsвiаns, and two pedophiles have a race. What is the order of finish?

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