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YOU need a girl whose name does not end in .JPG

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Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!

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I'm so glad i grew up in the '70s and ' 80s!
I did so much sтuрid shiт - and there is no record of it anywhere!

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We do not eat gluten, diary, meat, soy, eggs or nuts

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my Christmas Tree

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The internet is a lot like ancient Egypt.
People write on walls and worship cats.

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He called me a вiтсh.
I called him an ambulance.

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Are you practicing today?

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When a girl says, "Ok. Have fun."
DO NOT HAVE FUN.
Abort mission!
I repeat: ABORT MISSION!

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Mommie, that is a Canadian?

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Phone calls length

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Hello, Mental hospital?
- Yes.
- I would like to reserve a family suite

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A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.
Unless it's 3 am.
And you're home alone.
And you don't have a baby.

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Mondays are fine.
Your life suскs.

R. Gervais

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Karmasutra:
(n) when fate fuскs you in all sorts of creative ways

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Rich people: Money doesn't matter. attractive people: Looks does not matter

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Parking reserved for green vehicles

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No way, wrong way, subway

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