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Интелигенција Η Εξυπνάδα A little boy went up to his father and asked: Die Tochter: "Du Papa, die Intelligenz hab ich von dir." Darauf der Papa: "Das freut mich ja sehr, dass du das sagst, aber wie kommst du denn darauf?" "Na, die Mama hat ihre ja noch!" Le petit gars demande a son père :  - Papa, quand je suis venu au monde, qui m'a donné mon intelligence ? - C'est sûrement ta mère répond le père, car moi j'ai encore la mienne. Papa, quand je suis né qui m’a donné mon intelligence ? Sans doute ta mère parce que, moi, j’ai encore la mienne ! - Papa, de qui je tiens mon intelligence ? - De ta mère ! Moi, la mienne, je l'ai toujours... Een getrouwd stel zitten samen op de bank. Vraagt de vrouw aan de man “Van wie zou onze dochter toch haar intelligentie hebben? Antwoordt de man “Ik denk toch echt van jouw, ik heb de mijne... A criança pergunta ao pai: — Papai, quando eu vim ao mundo, quem me deu minha inteligência? — Com certeza tua mãe, já que eu ainda tenho a minha... Küçük Mahmut derslerine çok iyi çalışıyordu, sonuç olarak daima sınıfın birincisiydi. Babasının bu işe çok sevindiğini söylemeye gerek yok. O akşam baba oğlanın getirdiği pekiyilerle dolu... Llega una niña corriendo con su mamá y le pregunta: - ¡Mamá, mamá! - ¿Qué hija? - Yo de quién saqué la inteligencia, ¿de ti o de papá? Y ella le contesta: - De tu papá. Y la niña le dice: - ¿Por... Era una niña, saliendo de la escuela, apresurada llegó con su mamá, y le preguntó: - ¡Mamá, mamá! Soy muy inteligente, ¿podrías decirme de quién heredé la inteligencia? A lo que le respondió su... Vraagt de vrouw aan de man : "Van wie heeft onze dochter haar intelligentie?" Zegt de man: "Natuurlijk van jou, ik heb het mijne nog..." A gyerek kérdezi otthon az apját: - Apu! Az eszemet melyikőtöktől örököltem? - Biztosan anyádtól fiam, mert az enyém még megvan!
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I? ”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“That makes sense, because mommy’s still got hers.”
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My neighbor came at me really aggressively, asking if I knew anything about her underwear disappearing from her clothes line.
I can tell you I nearly shiт her pants.
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What method of contraception do you use? I’m always really nice and kind. - Peter, 32, best friend of many, many women
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I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!
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Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them?
You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”
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A tourist is enjoying the sights from the famous Tashkent tower in Uzbekistan when suddenly a guy in a hang-glider arrives, smashes into the tower and tumbles down to certain death.
Shortly afterwards, a second hang-glider does exactly the same.
The horrified tourist turns to the local guide, asking what on Earth just happened.
The guide shrugs, “You know how it is. Poor country, poor terrorists.”
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Just imagine, you’re a pair of jogging pants.
You expect a nice and easy life of lying on the sofa. And then WТF?! You get bought by an ambitious jogger!
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I’ve just been to the drugstore and saw that they’re selling lemon-scented intimate deodorants.
Yeah, this really makes sense actually because lemon goes very well with fish.
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I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands. They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack. Now it's "Donald! Duck!"
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You sneak into my room, unnoticed; you gently touch one bit of my nакеd body after the other until you find the most desirable place, then you start suскing.
Stupid mosquitoes!
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Hühnersuppe - Сынок, кушай этот куриный бульончик. При простуде полезно. - Сине, хапни си пилешка, супичка, много е полезна при простуда. Когато се разболеете не отивайте до аптеката. Просто си хапнете пилешка супа - пълна е с антибиотици. Das man Hühnchen mit Antibiotika vollpumpt, erklärt mindestens, warum Hühnersuppe bei Erkältungen hilft.
I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold.
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Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep!
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Ходих на курс по самоотбрана. Сега не бих препоръчал на никого да ме атакува със забавени движения
I did a self-defense course.
I wouldn’t recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion now.
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What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn’t make me fат?
Your fingernails.
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A smoothie. The miracle of selling somebody a peach and a banana for $5.
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Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name’s day Your Holiness!
Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict?
Bishop: It is the 16th, though.
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I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she's been googling my name last night on her computer.
I saw it clearly through my binoculars.
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My step mother came to me and demanded that I take all her clothes off.
So I took off her blouse.
She said, “Now off with the skirt.”
I did, and she continued, “Now take off my stockings.”
And when I did that, she said, “Now the вrа and the раnтiеs.”
I took them off. She continued, “And don’t ever let me catch you wearing my stuff again!”
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