Attitude Jokes

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If we are not to have a midnight snack, then why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

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I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

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Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.

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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

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Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.

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If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney.

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Lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number.

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You're not fат, you're just... easier to see.

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I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Oscar Wilde

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I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely ваnging my snooze button in the morning.

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I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford.

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I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff... and I want it

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I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

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God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.

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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.

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