Attitude Jokes

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I like to finish other people's sentences because... my version is better.

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

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Anyone who says "good morning" on a Monday is a sociopath.

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White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope.

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If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I'd compete in it later.

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Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

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I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

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My mind wants to dance but my body is a really awkward white guy.

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Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.

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I'm black in complexion, not dark in color.

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When I said "I was afraid of the dentist", I meant the bill.

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We must pay for the mistakes of our youth… at the drugstore.

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I'm not trying to boss you around just do what I say.

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