Baseball jokes

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How long did the baseball player spend in the library?
Five minutes. It was a short stop.

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Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
Someone stole second base.

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Why are frogs good baseball players?
Because they’re great at catching flies.

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Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams?
Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.

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Something to ponder:
“Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”

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When does the Queen watch baseball?
If it’s a knight game!

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Which baseball player loved ﬁreplaces?
Mickey Mantle

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What do baseball players eat on?
Home plates!

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What do you call 40 millionaires sitting around watching the World Series?
The New York Yankees!

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What’s the difference between a Royals fаn and a baby?
The baby stops whining after a while.

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What do baseball players use to bake a cake?
Oven mitts, bundt pans and batter.

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A baseball scout found a remarkable prospect: a horse who was a pretty good fielder and who hit the ball every time he was up at bat. The scout got him a try-out with a big league team. Up at bat, the horse slammed the ball into far left field and stood at the plate, watching it go. “Run!” the manager screamed, “Run!” “Are you kidding?” answered the horse. “If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby.”

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What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog?
You can buy a Yankee Stadium hotdog in October!

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How many baseball players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.

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Why did the cops go to the baseball game?
Because they heard someone was stealing a base.

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What did the hand say to the baseball?
You’re such a catch.

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Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?
Because he was the wurst on his team.

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Why is an umpire like an angry chicken?
They both have foul mouths.

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