Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Treat people in wheel chairs like everybody else. Steal the rims.

0

0

Q. Why is life like toilet paper?
A. Because you’re either on a roll or some а$$hоlе is crapping on you.

0

0

I’ve lost my home, I’ve lost control and I can’t see any escape. Definitely time to get a new keyboard.

0

0

What do you call it when a prisoner has to pay for a self taken photo ? A CellFee.

0

0

A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold, this went on for about a half an hour. To the surprise of the rest of the customers, the waiter was very patient, walking aback and forth and very pleasant. So finally a customer asked; why don’t you just throw out the реsт? “Oh, I don’t care,” said the waiter with a grin, we don’t even have an air conditioner.”

0

0

According to my niррlеs, winter is officially here.

0

0

Student: may i use the bathroom?
Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet.
Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz
Teacher: wheres the p?
Student: running down my leg.

0

0

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

0

0

What is in the beginning of eternity and at the end of time and space?
The letter e

0

0

One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and before he left said,
"Whatever you do don't look under my bed." So while Bill was on vacation Hillary got curious and decided to look under his bed. She found a million dollars and 2 empty вееr cans. When Bill came home she said,
"What's with the two вееr cans under your bed?" Bill replied, "Oh. That marks all the times I've cheated on you."
"Well, I forgive you," said Hillary, "But then what's with the million dollars?" He replied, "I've started to recycle."

0

0

She's so dumb, she couldn't even break a dress code.

0

0

The "I'm not interested" starter pack includes the following texts:
- Maybe.
- Nice.
- Hahah aww...
- Oh...

0

0

Girl: do you have a naughty side?
Boy: sometimes i dont do my homework.... On purpose! SO НАRDСОRЕ!

0

0

I told a girl on the flight that she was pretty. She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."
So I asked if she remembered the quadratic formula.

0

0

What kind of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?
Sanka.
What kind of lettuce did they serve with their salads on the Titanic?
Iceberg.

0

0

Go to google, and see what happens when you search these items:
1. Do a barrel roll
2. Askew
3. Tilt
2 and 3 kinda do the same thing
Enjoy!!

0

0

What color do Smurfs turn if you choke them?

0

0

Dear Algebra,
Please stop finding your x and don't ask y.

0

0