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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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- Две кексчета си стояли във фурната и се пекли.
2 банички се пекат във фурната и едната казала на другата:
Две кексчета се печат и едното казва:
Sind zwei Muffins in einem Ofen. Sagt der eine: "Himmel nochmal, ist mir heiß!" Darauf der andere: "Waaah! Ein sprechender Muffin!"
Treffen sich zwei Muffins im Ofen sagt der eine: Ahhh, ich verbrenne!!! Sagt der andere: Hilfe ein sprechender Muffin!!!
Det var två muffins i en ugn och då sa den ena - Oj vad varmt det är och då säger den andra - Holy shit, en talande muffin.
Det var to muffinser inne i en stekovn. Den ene sier: – ÅÅåå så varmt det er. Den andre sier: – Næ, se! En snakkende muffins!
Der sad 2 muffins i en ovn. - Den ene muffin sagde “Nej hvor er der varmt herinde.” - Så råbte den anden “Ahhhh en talende muffin.”
Det var en gång två muffins i en ugn. Den första muffinsen sa: - Ojj, Vad hett det är här inne. Den andra muffinsen sa: - Hjääälp, en talande muffins!!!
Två muffins sitter i ugnen. Den ena frågar den andra: - Tycker du det börjar bli varmt här inne? Den andra svarar: - Aaargh, en talande muffins...
Två muffinsar ligger i en ung. Den ena utbrister: - Fasen va varmt det är här! Den andra förvånat: - Oh!Oj! En talande muffins!
Estaban dos muffins en el horno y uno le dice al otro:uff! que calor y el otro responde:Ah! ¡un muffin que habla!
Sind zwei Muffins im Backofen. Der Erste: Mensch ist das heiß hier drin. Der Zweite: Ahhh Hilfe ein sprechender Muffin!
There are two muffins in an oven. The muffin on the left turns to the other and says, "Man, it
There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin looked at the second muffin and said, "Man, it
One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, “man its hot in here.” The other one said “Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!”
Dois bolinhos estavam no forno. Um bolinho chegou e disse: — Ai!Tá quente aqui! O outro bolinho disse: — HAHAHA!Um bolinho falante!
Twee muffins zitten in de oven. Zegt de ene muffin tegen de andere: "Hee, zullen we ontsnappen" Zegt de andere muffin: "Aaaa een praatende muffin" Lololololol
Két muffin van a sütőben az egyik megszólal: - ÁÁÁ Égek!!! Erre a másik: - ÁÁÁ ez beszél!!!
Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other:
"Man, it's hot in here!"
The other one says:
"Ah! A talking muffin!"
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A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, ''Nein! Nein!'' so two guys walk away.
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Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants?
A: Diск-tator.
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The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.
The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.
At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).
The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.
The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
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I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her.
"That's total воllоскs" I replied.
By text, from across the road.
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Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A:
"Oh ваlls."
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Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vаginа?
A: A woman.
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Is it still rаре if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
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God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
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Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirтy things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
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Yo mama is so sтuрid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?
Answer:
"Halo there!"
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The Bachelor
La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso
Single?
Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата:
Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил, огледал подробно покупките и и казал тихо:
Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente:
Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava,...
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the...
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For...
Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar...
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the...
En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat, 1 lille pose kaffe, 1 frossen færdigret, 1 tærte, 1 müslibar og en frossen pizza! Manden ved kassen spørger smilende: – Single, hva? Pigen smiler...
En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende: 1 stykke sæbe 1 tandbørste 1 tube tandpasta 1 lille franskbrød 1 liter mælk 1 æble 1 banan 1 appelsin 1 liter juice 1 glas syltetøj 1 bage...
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato...
En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker, hon kommer fram till kassan och lägger upp en banan, ett äpple, en tandborste, en schampoflaska, en tvål, en kam, en apelsin, en tandkräm, en...
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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80-летний старик приходит к доктору: - я на следующей неделе опять...
70-годишен милионер при доктора:
Докторот:
Ein 82-Jähriger kommt zum Doktor.
Ein achtzigjähriger Mann erzählt seinem Arzt, dass er nächste Woche noch einmal heiraten möchte. Der Arzt sagt:
Arzt: "Gute Frau, sie sind jetzt 92, Ihr Freund 21, da kann jeder Sexualkontakt zum Tode führen!" Worauf die alte Dame meint: "Na ja, dann stirbt er halt!"
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!"
"Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?"
"She's 19."
"That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!"
"Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
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"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
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Wie macht die rassistische Motorsäge? Run Nigger Nigger Nigger
Vad säger en motorsåg i Mississipi? RUUUUUN! – nigger nigger nigger…
Why are niggеrs afraid of chainsaws?
Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run niggа niggа niggа Run niggа niggа niggа"
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