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In the Chemistry class the teacher was describing how August Kekulé, the scientist accidentally discovered a formula to express Benzene.
Kekulé once dozed off in his lab while trying to arrange the six carbon atoms in a particular format alongside six-hydrogen. The scientific community in the entire world had no answer either. Suddenly he had a dream and in his dream he saw two snakes eating each other and suddenly he woke up and tried to write out the formula that way and that was how we got the Benzene ring as we know it today, she said.
The teacher however felt bad finding a girl in the front bench dozing off all this while and pulled her up.
A boy from the rear said: Madam, please spare her; who knows she might come up with another formula for Benzene!
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One day the bass player hid one of the drummer’s sticks.
The drummer said, “finally! After being a drummer for so long,
Now I am a conductor!"
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Jeb and Jethro live in the hills, about 5 miles outside of town. Jeb asks Jethro to go in to town to pick up some lumber. Jethro walks the 5 miles to town to the local lumberyard.
"Jeb says we're gonna need some 4 x 2's," Jethro tells the yardman.
"Do you mean 2 x 4's?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb," says Jethro. He walks the 10 miles to the hills and then back to town. "Jeb says we're gonna need 2 x 4's,"
"Now, how long will you need them?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb" says Jethro and yet again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town. Upon returning Jethro says to the yardman, "Jeb says you better give 'em to us for a while . . . we're gonna build a barn."
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A hungry rabbit says to a squirrel lets play a game. The squirrel said yeah. The rabbit said lets see who can cook each other first. So the squirrel was in a рот with hot water on the stove and was starting to cook then the squirrel started to make annoying noises and trying to escape but he couldn't because the rabbit had put some rocks on top of the lid....
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Just had a really big scare while walking home. Thought I saw a dead baby ghost in the middle of the road but turns out it was just a handkerchief.
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What do you call a cheeky big foot?
A Sassy-squatch
*bu dum tss*
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It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin.
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Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
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Was on the phone to the wife the other day. “Ваве, I can’t get up the stairs to the bathroom. There’s a massive spider sitting on the step. Can you please come home from the pub and get rid of it?”
“For fuск sake grow a pair and do it yourself Dave!” She said.
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I'd like to start today by telling you how wonderful (NAME) is. I'd like to but...
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Teen pop stars, 2017 … …
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I know I’m getting old when I listen to Teen radio and wonder just how today’s junk makes it into the Billboard Hot 100. - …
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A good song is an inspiration of the heart. A song can’t have much soul if it was written during study hall.
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They say practice makes perfect. They also say that nobody is perfect. So why the fuск do we practice then if nobody can be perfect
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Always be yourself...
Unless you can be a pirate...
In which case, DEFINITELY be a pirate!
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Why are boardwalk models so thin?
It's so the outfit will look the same when you see it on a clothing hanger at the store.
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I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, “This milk must be seriously out of date.”
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Looking at an optical mouse, an idiот said,
"Look! They are making everything solar these days."
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Cabbage
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
Boiledcabbage
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
1 boiled cabbage
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
50fuckingboiledcabbages
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
50FUCKINGboiledcabbages
Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse. IfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessImmediately
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately
Sorry, that password is already in use.
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My girlfriend keeps telling me to treat her like a princess so today I got her some expensive jewelry and then I decided to have her father executed for treason.
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