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How to climb a small Staircase.
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
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Jesus May Have Walked on Water... But Stephen Halking Runs on Batteries
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Jeopardy answer:
"Phew! I'm glad I got that off my chest!"
Jeopardy question: What did the target of the carnival hatchet thrower say after an errant throw?
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What Is the definition of Fable?
A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
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Why did the driver put a stove in his car?
To make a hot rod.
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Interviewer :
“Just imagine you’re in the 20th floor of a building and it’s on fire. How will you escape?”
“It’s simple.. I will just stop my imagination.”
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Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to Washington on Air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very happy".
Hillary thought for a moment then replied "I’d rather drop ten, $10 bills out and make ten people very happy".
To which Vice President Gore said " I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people very happy".
The pilot then spoke up and said " Why don't all three of you jump out and make 250 million people very happy?"
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Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
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When doing Stand-Up Comedy, Hostage jokes aren’t funny…
…….. ………
Unless you execute them well.
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I just bought a new state-of-the-art washer/dryer. It even talks.
This morning it told me what it did with the other sock!
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a parking lot.
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Fell asleep at a party last night and some ваsтаrd put a teabag in my mouth.
Wait until I see them, no one treats me like a mug!
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A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town’s register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, " I must have taken Leif off my census."
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A wife treats hubby by taking him to a Sтriр Club for his birthday…At The Club, The Doorman Says, “Hi Jim, How are You?”
The wife asks, “How does he know you?
Jim says, “Oh dear, I play football with him.”
Inside, the Bartender Says, “The Usual, Jim?”
Jim says to Wife, “Before you say anything, He’s on the Darts Team.”
Next a stripper Says, “Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??”
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her and jumps into a taxi…
The Taxi driver Says, “Hey Jimmy Boy! You sure picked up an ugly one this time….”
Jim’s Funeral is on Sunday!!!
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I just received a letter from the IRS claiming I wasn’t honest on my tax return. I wrote them back saying if you want honesty, the next time you write start the letter out by saying “stick em up”!
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I'm kind of tired of being an amateur crastinater...
I'm thinking of turning pro, but I'm going to put that decision off for awhile.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change people?
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A Defendant in a court case was in a precarious situation regarding his Federal indictment, and the subsequent preponderance of evidence of his guilt. The day of his appearance on the witness stand, the bailiff had sworn him in for his testimony and he was asked to swear on a Bible that he was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The Defendant answered in his customary evasive style, "Show me the part of the Bible where there is a spelling error, and I will swear on that".
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