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Pinkie Pinkerton lived in a pink one story house on Pink Street. The walls were pink, the roof was pink, the carpet was pink, the flowers were pink, the pictures were pink, the furniture was pink, the bathroom was pink, her stuff was pink, the yard was pink, even her cat was pink. EVERYTHING was pink. So what color were the stairs in Pinkie Pinkerton's house?

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Baba sent his brother a birthday cake, air mail. He wanted him to get it while the candles were still burning.

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The Pink Panther’s To Do list:
- To do.
- To do.
- To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo

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Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick up the block and put it back in my toy chest.

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Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden?
He took a pea.

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Q. What do witches put on their hair when they are going out????
A. Scare-spray

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My younger brother recently became involved with drugs and it’s totally turned his life upside down. He now drives a Porche and has his own house which he paid for in cash.

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I think there should be a Spanish-style siesta in this country -- from about half 11 in the morning until Thursday.

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What did the father tree say to his little sapling?
You’re a chip off the old block

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Q:What kind of coat can be put on only when wet?
A:A coat of paint.

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Whenever you tell someone you're afraid to fly, they're like, 'You know, it's the safest way to travel.' Really? I think walking beats it. I never been walking along and just burst into flames and then fell 20,000 feet. Maybe it's just the way that I walk, though. I'm a real careful walker.

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Do you know why electricians are some of the smartest people?
They always keep up with current events.

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Beauty comes from within -- like gas.

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Two guys were fishing on the Ohio River. One catches the biggest catfish either one has ever seen. He says to his buddy, “We need to remember this spot so we can come back here again.” His buddy pulls a pen out of his pocket and makes a big ‘X’ on the bottom of his boat. The first guy looks at his buddy, shaking his head in disgust. “You idiот- what if we bring another boat next time?”

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Q. What does a Mancunian call a table laden with Неrоin, Сосаinе, Skunk, GBH, Vаliuм, Spice, Methadone, Ecstasy and LSD?
A. Buffet.
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Don’t you just hate it when your clothes mysteriously vanish and you get arrested for being half-nакеd in public. That’s the last time I ever wear Bermuda shorts again.

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Apparently the word ‘IKEA’ is Swedish for ‘f*ck’, explains a lot.

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In an effort to defeat Superman, I've joined a Los Angeles street gang. Superman won't stand a chance once I turn into a Crip tonight.

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