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Banta’s driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls.
He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.
When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there’s hardly standing room anywhere.
Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.
When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked.
All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he’s ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.
“What happened!?!” says Banta.
The bartender responds “Where were you when the shiт hit the fаn?!”
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If you’re doing Stand-Up Comedy, here’s some Advice: ….
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Menstruation jokes aren’t funny… Period.
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Saying "Oh ,Yeah I get it" just so the teacher walks away
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How is today Monday? It was Friday only a few hours ago…
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My granddad died peacefully in his sleep last night. Unfortunately the passengers on his bus all died screaming.
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Definition of Wisdom: The thing that happens when you run out of sтuрid ideas.
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My son told me he found some cassette tapes with some ‘ваnging tunes’ on them in the attic.
I think he’s found my old ZX Spectrum games.
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I’ve got some reliable inside information about Apple’s next product.
I won’t be able to afford it.
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The following conversation took place at a funeral parlor minutes before the funeral was about to start.
Widow: You’ve put him in a blue suit, I wanted brown!
Funeral Director: No problem madam. Ed!! Ed!! Quickly bring the hacksaw, we need to swap the heads around on these bodies.
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I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday but then Friday is so close to monday ._.
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If you're stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you most want to have?
Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a gold medal on a stick.
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Teacher is telling the class to say a sentence with the word definetly in it, mary says the sky is definitly blue, teacher says good but it can also be gray, jojo says grass is definetly green, good but it can be brown... little johny says is there lumps in a fаrт, teacher said no why would you ask that, johny says i definetly shiт my pants xD
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What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years?
Peat!!!
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978,000 people quit smoking every year... By dying.
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It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
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Two guys ran into a bar...
They both died
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"As you get older, you lose three Important things.
The First is your Memory. The Second is your ability to remember what you just said, and I can't remember the Third thing.
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I’ve just noticed my wife is wearing her sеxy underwear. This can only mean one thing… …
She’s behind with the washing.
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