Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

A соw and a horse got into an accident while they were coming around a blind corner. Who is to be blamed?
The соw... because she didn't вlоw her horn!

0

0

I saw a sign today day telling please keep off the grass. I wonder how it got there?

0

0

What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Store? Do you think it's 'just take it'?

0

0

I saved 463 bucks on my car insurance today.
Now I’ve just got to hope that I don’t get pulled over in the next 12 months.

0

0

Isn’t it strange that if you are Scottish and you live in a different country you’re known as Jоск.
If you’re Welsh you’re known as a Taffy.
If you’re Irish you’re known as Раddy.
.
But if you’re English you’re just a сunт!

0

0

What's the worst way to scare a gаy person. Scare them straight

0

0

What do Benefit street and Sesame street have in common?
They both have a big bird, a guy living in a bin and people trying to learn the alphabet.

0

0

I just started a support group where no one sees or hears each other.
I don't know how many members there are because I don't hear or see any of them.

0

0

If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were drowning in a swimming pool, what type of sandwich would you make?

0

0

Bro: lol was I that drunк ? Me: well you dug up my mom's garden, because and I quote 'fuск FarmVille'

0

0

What do you call a pirate without a ship?
A creative homeless guy.

0

0

If you are thinking of taking your lady to see fifty shades of grey at the pictures as a Valentine’s treat make sure you go for the matinee showing.
That way the seats will have had a chance to dry out from the previous day.

0

0

Just been thrown out by my landlord after making him really angry. He told me the only pet I was allowed was a fish so I got a 6ft shark.

0

0

How do you get 100 old ladies to yell f*ck?
Have another one of them say bingo

0

0

How to parallel park:
1) Park somewhere else.

0

0

My girlfriend hasn't shaved in awhile so I figured I'd give her subtle hints so I texted her:
"Hows life baby gorilla. I mean babygirl*".

0

0

If a butcher is 6 feet tall, wears size 9 shoes, and a waist size of 38, what does he weigh?
Meat.

0

0

Got up at 6am today.
Did yoga.
Had a protein shake.
Ran six miles.
Started lying about everything.

0

0