Jokes

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What is the plural of goose geese what is the plural of foot feet what is The plural of moose well it ant meese

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Why was the indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches. Because then it would be a foot. lol i may have peed myself

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Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore.
Person: why’d you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry I’m already going under.

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I don’t get why people don’t like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their аss? Wait, that’s the other hole.

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I didnt fаrт my аss likes you so much it just blew you a kiss!

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What’s the difference between my dad and my step dad? My step dad beat my аss before he left

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My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. ùshe told me that the was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.

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Luck of the Irish my аss, I just blew a тrаnny and an engine in my truck both in the same week… Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other.

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Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it’ll leave me too.

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Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

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Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other.
One says to the other, “Are you all right?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”

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Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.

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You know, Ebay suскs. I was looking for a lighter and it gave me 18,906 matches

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Random guy: Go suск a D*ck!
Me: Nah, i rather suск a 9mm.

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My Llama’s cousin suскs at going on vacation.
He just stands there; “I’ll pack uhhhh…”

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Life is like giving head…it always sucks

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What suскs but doesn’t suск?
Vacuums!

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