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Doctor: I’m sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuuut what’s this behind your ear?
Oh it’s still cancer

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Little Johnny walked to his parents room, they were having sеx and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was soo, he said “What are y’all doing?” The parents replied “Umm, r-rapping presents!” . Little Johnny said “ok.” and then left. In the morning Little Johnny opened his presents, his parents said “This one is from Santa!” Little Johnny said “No it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents.” The parents said “Ohh fuск” Little Johnny replied “What mommy and daddy?” They replied “Oh nothing!”
“Oh ok.” Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dads ears “At least he doesn’t know the truth.” Little Johnny said “What truth.”

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How do u get a blonde to drown
U tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird

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If a clown farted, would it smell funny?

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If your going shopping at school what color would Iike to smell : True or False

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What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped

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What do you call a соw that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

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Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If there flat they get skipped.

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What’s a hairdressers favorite roast? Flat iron roast

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Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence:
“Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we’ll be happy forever in heaven, eventually.”
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

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Yo momma’s so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!

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Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair
It has feathers. LOL

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What is the difference between a Flat tire bicycle and a Woman, answer, You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride on it, while a woman you need to ride on her and pump.

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A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirтy her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone the blond retort’s.
Thats nothing once we we’re in the kitchen I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!

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Sign outside a hair salon: We’ll color your hair or dye trying.

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All zodiac signs have a hair style but cancer is just a one way thing

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Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it’s the 69th in the hair category.

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If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

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