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Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
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It was an emotional wedding even the cake was in tiers{if I explain it it will ruin the joke}
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🧀:C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
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I don’t put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
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Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said.
Me:
"Hello this is…Zariana and I am from New York."
Burger king staff:
"Will we work in Florida."
Me:
"Good now I want a large cake with some salad…with some eggnog…and some baby food"
Burger king:
“We don’t serve any of that ma’am.” Me:
"And I want it to go please!"
Burger king staff:
“Sorry ma’am we don’t ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering.
Me:
“Hello this is Trina from south carolina.” Jcpennys register:
“Yes what can I don for you ma’am ?” Me:
“Excuse me”? Jcpennys register:
“I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma’am.” Me:
“Sorry I can’t hear you…what!” Jcpennys register:
“WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA’AM.” Me:
“I still can’t hear you! Say that again!!!” Jcpennys register:
“Ma’am can you hear correclty?” Me:
“YES I CAN…NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!” Jcpennys register:
“No ma’am I was just saying tha-” Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me:
“Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm”? Mrs. Jarkinson:
“What who is this?” Me:
“Ummm…Mrs. Keris!” Mrs. Jarkinson:
" So what does what word mean again?’’ Me:
" fnjfnjrfnjr!” Mrs. Jarkinson:
“What!!!” Me:
“fnjefnj” Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!! Me:
“Never mind!” Hehehe!
Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me:
“Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa” Mr. Morris:
“Sorry what I don’t speake spanish!” Me:
“Está bien … di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!” Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris:
“What does that even mean!” Me:
“Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!” Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me:
“No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil … di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!” Mr. Morris:
“Wait but what does tha-” I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don’t how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.
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To master puns you got to relish them first that’s how I musterd it who knows maybe you will ketchup to my level
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What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake 🎂🥳
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Why did sally get a black eye? Because she tried to play patty cake.
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My dog went threw my bathroom garbage and for some reason my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there…
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🥫Wewo wewo stop right now or we will be Forsted to stop you are self. No not like you can ketchup!
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Say “Mike who cheese hairy” fast to a teenager
And I will get you $100000000000
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Why didn’t Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
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What do you call a kid who’s been kidnapped?
Well, her name’s Sally, so I guess… Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
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Why did the boy get run over ?
Sally was driving
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Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
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Why was sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
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What was sally’s role in a football game?
The football ;-;
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Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
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