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Girl playing outside: step on a line and you break your mommy’s spine
She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming
Girl playing outside :step on a сrаск and you break daddy’s back
She steps on a сrаск the mailman next door then keels over screaming
The husband starts celebrating gets in the car and starts to drive away
The son comes outside and steps on a crack
The dad then dies in a car crash
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This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says f*** no you won’t return it
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I guy entered to a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching crossed the books and the librarian asked him.
Librarian… what are you looking for ?
Man …I am looking for a book!!
Librarian… Which book ??
Man … FACEBOOK.
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:can I borrow a book how to кill myself
:librarian. No cause you won’t bring it back
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What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
- It has the most stories.
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A man walks into a library
Man: Hello ma’am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?
Librarian: Do you know about our return policy?
Suicidal Man: …
Librarian: …
The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUСК?
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Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY"
Girl:
"Dude, this is a library"
Me:
“oh” (sсrеwing on a silencer)
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My junk was in the book of world records until i got kicked out of the library
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A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied “Oh fuск off, you wont bring it back!”
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There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
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French fries don’t come from France they com from Greece
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Imagine if on April first the government says hahhaha you all fell for it covid19 is fake we actually killed all those people lol
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A blonde, burnette and a red-head are running from the police. They come across an old shack, with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the burnette in it. She goes, “Mew, mew.” The police say, “Oh, it’s just a bag of kittens.” Then they kick the one with the red-head. “Woof, woof.” They think, “Oh, it’s just a bag of puppies.” Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, “POtaTOES!!” And gets arrested.
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A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
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Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin’ us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government.
Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane
Brother 1: So 1 car isn’t always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes.
Brother 2(1): You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? looks in mirror HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: found them.
Imaginary mother and brother fade away
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
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Why did the United Nations stop the
French government from using the
Guillotine in public?
Because the french government was using
The guillotine in public on
New born baby boys for circumcision
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Donald trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
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