Jokes

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What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
“I think I feel a connection.”

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An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn’t go well, because they couldn’t connect.

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What happens when a alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device .-- . / - .-. .- …- . .-… / …-. .-. — – / – .- -. -.-- / – .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-… .- -…- -.-- …

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Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other:
“I’m feeling really positive today” and the other replied:
“I know. I stole your electron”. Then the first atom said “How Ionic”

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An orphan made an Instagram, he did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner

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Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that’s the worst? He comes back for seconds.

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What’s black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven hawking where the experiments went wrong.

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Teddy

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I’m like a teddy bear. I don’t like to be fuскеd.

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Why doesn’t a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed

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The Wife said “Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?”
The Husband replied “They remind me of stars Darling!”
“Yellow and Far apart”

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[god creating alligators]
God: see that log?
Angel:yes…?
God: now fill it with teeth.
Angel: say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH

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All my jokes are cys for help
Including this one

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What’s the difference between $1 Million and Baby Teeth?
I don’t have $1 Million in my wallet.

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So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it’s been getting worse. Recently, I’ve been advised about my condition, and how I’ve been discussing to her about being suicidal, she’s been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don’t have to worry about it later.

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Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs - to get to the bottom
What do you call a bear with no teeth - a gummy bear!!!

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[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hеll. Angel: wтf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

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A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs.
The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.

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