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Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan

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Say сrаск my fingers.
Now say that backwards…

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What do you call dog that’s faced backwards a god

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If you spell swim backwards you get miws, where is my dad?

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Me say сrаск my finger
My hubby сrаск my finger
Now say it backwards

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Why did the sea cry ?
Because it felt salty and blue

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How did I escape from Iraq, Iran.

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A tiny psychic escaped from jail and the news said there a small medium at large.

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A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
“I will help you escape,” says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says “Hawk.” She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says “Falcon.” She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And…she trips and says “Сrар.”

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Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanige?
Because he want to get money to buy a familly since they wolnt buy him.

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I always suскеd at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…

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Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;
Copyright: Cade

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Two lions plan their escape from the circus. the night they get out of their cages they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunк, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
Does this taste funny to you?

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POV: your at school and you just enjoy your day. Now once you found a bully and he said “i will burn you in fire” then u just punched him Out the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage but you took off his cloths and even underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after

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Must. Escape. Meme. Existence is what meme stands for for some haters

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My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.

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You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I sсrеwеd it up.

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DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille

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