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There is a young lady…
She is beatiful.
She got much vote.
But she speech very fast.
Does she think look smart with do that?
She make me feel bad.

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Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what’s going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar
Cesar: yes I know Hail Cesar but I need to know what the weathers like!
Servant: Well its hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

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Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad…to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

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So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says “tell ya what, spell out “lad” in salad” she spells L A D, Johnny replies “spell “rot” in carrot” she spells R O T, Johnny says “now spell “fuск” in vegetables or fruits” she says “there is no fuск in vegetables or fruits” Johnny exclaims “thats what ive been trying to tell you!”

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A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964 we’d end up bombing North Viet Nam. Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.

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Hey I got some dominos pizza salad breadsticks and chicken wings for everyone yeah but make sure ms Mandingo gorilla don’t eat all up because if she do I’m going have to shove it up her fur.

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One day in class little Johnny was mucking around not listening to the teacher after 5 minutes the teacher caught him and finsh what she said and said little Johnny if you weren’t listening what was the last thing I said and little Johnny replied back you said what was the last thing I said

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What is a Necrophiliacs favorite band?
Coldplay

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What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo

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These three men wanted to start a band one had the idea to call them the rolling stones, one wanted to call them the veggies the other said lets be the cripples as they all rolled away

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I’m taking a taking a guitar lesson at school, my band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar, i Asked him if that was a fret

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What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They’re both Headless.

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Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

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What did the skeleton play when je joined the band?
A tromBONE

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I was at a concert, in the front row and I shouted something to the band’s guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded:
“I’m going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!”. And I replied:
“Is that a death fret?”.

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Don’t you just want to go on a mass мurdеr while listening to goodbye Moonman. Oh just me… OK

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Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands but all of them rejected him… except Dаfт Punk.

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D’jahear about the band Manhole? I hear they’re a metal cover

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