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A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fuскing another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”.
Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”.
So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?”
The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME”
The sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

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All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

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Your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies, follow me on instagram: _zer0x3

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A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest.
If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful.
I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back.
I called the police. But it couldn’t help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows…

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Two to the one from the one to the three
I like good рussy and i like good trees
Smoke so much wееd you wouldn’t believe
And i get more аss than a toilet seat
Three to the one from the one to the three
I met a bad вiтсh last night in the d
Let me tell you how i made her leave with me
Conversation and hennessey
I’ve been to the мотhеrfuскin’ mountain top
Heard мотhеrfuскеrs talk, seen and dropped
If i ain’t got a weapon i’ma pick up a rock
And when i bust yo аss i’ma continue to rock
Getcha аss of the wall with your two left feet
It’s real easy just follow the beat
Don’t let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind

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So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her so she said ¨stop horsing around¨
Get it horse-ing

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So I am an emo dude so I sit in the back of the class and I talk to no one. But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me so I just ignored him. Then he got really рissеd off and said “I’m gonna кill you”. I was like “Your gonna кill me just
Because I ignored you, is your ego that big, wow.”He left then the next day he brought his goons with him and said “now your dead” I ignored him again and he said “you will pay for this.”So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house then him and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set. This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emo’s. We have ropes everywhere.

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The twin towers are like water bottles
It’s all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess

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Joe: are your mom and dad nice?
Zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles
Joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer

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What the difference between a water bottle and Africa? One has water the other one doesn’t

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If you take a caap of a bottle is it decaptition

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What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo

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I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle

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Some guy was mad at his ex wife! so he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunк. And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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Spaghettieashannaise

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Why did Pikachu chase Ash? Because he wanted to Ketchum.

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How do you clean ash of a stove with chemicals

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What do frogs whar for shoes/open toad.
What does your mom say to you/love you moody.

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