Jokes

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What did the cell say when it was dividing?
“It’s not you, it’s me.”

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What did the step brother and step sister do together? OOOF MITOSIS

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Llbgf[dv pdofkcldmklc lmitosis

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Remember, kids: the school shooter can’t get you if YOU are the shooter.

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When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.

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When the school shooter is about to leave the room then the autistic kid says “Goodbye!”.

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When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams:
“Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.

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When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

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Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: the school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway

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When the school shooter misses you but you gotta play it off;
😐😑

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When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android:
“Hey siri”

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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it)
I’m surrounded by fат people, oh wait… it’s just one

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What do you get when cayden steals your sandwich a nuckle sandwich

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You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Quilty or Not Quilty?

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When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock

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What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

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A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fаrт.”

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Why did the baseball player get arrested. He tried to steal third

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