Jokes

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So a girl says your so ugly to me and she says “I’m the prettiest girl” I say “yea a pretty girl for a ogre 👹”

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What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!

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Im jealous at me led lights.
Cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.

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A man walks into a bar, the corrections officer says “Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!”

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I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open.
I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license
I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sеx with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said
That’s the last time I use ancestry. Com

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What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone

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I just got a text on my cell воnе be right back

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I’m a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

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Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: 🙄. My depression: remeber that one tim… Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we… Me: nope. My deprssion: says really fast:said that one sтuрid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: 😳😶😟. My depression: 😉 dont worry I’ll always be here for you.

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Ur mom fат lol

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Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣

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Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

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What type of tea do you drink with the queen of england?
Royal-tea

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Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen

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5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England’s won. I never thought she’d get it done, but her sister is a nun.

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What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat brussels!

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What do you get when the queen fаrт a noble gas… what do you get when a dino farts a blast from the past… why are ninja farts so dangerous they are silent but deadly L O
L
S

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I told my sister a Dairy joke,
She said it was cheesy.

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