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Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can’t ignore their problem with immature ejaculation

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Friend 1:Eyyy gurl
Me:Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2:hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2:So (name) would u rather?
1.“Hang” out with me
Or
2.“Jump” 1 times?
Me…e-eh?.. Why not both???we could just "Jump while “Hanging” out right?

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I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

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Biden: Shut up Trump, DISRESPECTFUL) President: you are the one with the inappropriate hair touching bro.😎😎😎😎😎😎 Biden:
- Laughs hard because sloppy Joe can’t do anything.

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Which president has never gone to jail… Lincoln because he’s in a cent get it innocent in a cent

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When i try to call my friend i can’t get through because my name is Lin Kon and the operator Keeps saying yes Mr president

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How do you find out about the
Accomplishments of the former
President of the united states
James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of
Skippy peanut butter

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Hillary for president

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Seriously who wants fuскing annoying orange as president

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Texans: Don’t mess with texas
Snows 1 inch
Texans: Please help us President Biden

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One day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!”
Mom:
“no you can’t…”
Me: throws butter out the window
Me:
“look I made a butterfly!”
Lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it

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Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.

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I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

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Why did Stephan Hawkins and his wife stop playing hide and seek - she kept using a metal detector

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I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, ore lose it forever.

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My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg. She got really scared and yelled at the doctor telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

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So I was watching tv right? then i f…ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs “wтf”

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Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of “do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?” She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh were not laughing at that.
Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.

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