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Did you know there was a record for quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds

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I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall

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Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yea, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

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Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the twin towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.

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Name the emojis if you do then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis!
Type in the comment section.

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I was asking people who knew trump if he would win a second term . Stormy said " no way, he doesn’t have 2 in him!"

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How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

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I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

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Stephan hawking always wins musical chairs as he’s always sitting down

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Who and the fastest readers in the world??
The people in the twin towers cause they went through over 100 stories in lest then 10 minutes

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So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sеxuаl advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.

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A cardboard belt is a waist of paper.

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When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fат аss”.

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So little Johnny comes home from school knowing dамn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says “get the belt” Johnny says “why?” His mother says “im gonna spank you for failing” Johnny says “so just like daddy?” His father turns red knowing what they did last night

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Why do men sag there pants so low and still wear a belt
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don’t pay

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I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

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Little Johnny’s sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, “That is my garage”. The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, “What is that between your legs?” Her dad answers, “It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy’s garage.” The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, “Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?” Suzy says,
" Well… little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."

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Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway

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