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The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?

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Julius Caesar (salad) made easy

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What did ceaser call a person. She-her(ceaser)

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What is your car 🚘 was your time today after I had dinner 🍴 night and night sleep 😴 night is it a night for you and a dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night was the snow ⛄️ I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🥘

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Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise

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Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

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What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Ceasars.

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A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don’t you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I’ll ask for one.

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You here about the roman numeral hospital
All they have is IVs!

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How do you turn the roman numeral ix (9) to a six?
Add the s

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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar…
“GET OUT OF HERE!!!” The Bartender shouts we don’t serve your type!

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Ur Mater.

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What does Jimmy Saville and 9/11 have in common? They're an inside job.

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Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie… But she still is in my basement, since she can’t run!

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Before my grandad died he whispered to me is your uncle still in the basement i said he has died oh my grandad said i will lock him in heavens basement

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Whats the dame about boxes and children. There both found in basements

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3.
A sloth takes 2 weeks to digest the food he’s eaten.

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I threw away my can opener.
It was more of a can’t opener.

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