Jokes

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“Oh come on, so what. Lots of people liск the knife from time to time.”
- Michael, 48, surgeon looking at the horrified stares of his colleagues

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“I’m sorry but I won’t be rushed. They play my song on the radio – that song plays till the end!”
- Manuel, 36, not the ambulance driver of the month

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“…And I’m yelling, ‘It’s a boy! It’s a boy!’ I mean, I just couldn’t believe it, in the end I was just in tears, man…”
- Mike, 32, describing his recent traumatic holiday in Thailand

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“Springtime always takes my breath away…”
- Linda, 45, severe allergy sufferer

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“I bumped into Karen on my way home.”
- Peter (40), truck driver, didn’t see Karen in the blind spot

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“Everywhere I go, I’m greeted with much warmth.”
- Dylan, 53, fireworker

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“It’s crazy how guys keep running after me.”
- Sally, 44, bus driver

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“I don’t get it. It’s the Advent, you open the 18th door, enjoy a little sweetie – and they immediately fire you!”
- Elmer, 45, guard in a female prison

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“I’ve got butterflies in my tummy.”
- Jensen, 8, a boy who would eat just about anything

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“You just drop one thing and they fire you. How is that fair?”
- Gwendoline, 58, Midwife

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“It’s good to see good manners in people. When I pass a fellow bus driver, it’s not just me nodding in greeting – all my passengers do, too!”
- Mike, 52, likes to step on the break when passing another bus

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I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy.
What do you call a gullible vampire?
A sucker

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What is the definition of a farmer?
Someone who is outstanding in his field.
*hehehe*
Credit: Laffy Taffy

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The best joke I ever heard from a Laffy Taffy wrapper
Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
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The kids have to play inside.

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What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around while I go on ahead.
Credit goes to a Laffy Taffy wrapper from some years ago.

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My favorite from a Laffy Taffy wrapper: What do you call a twitching соw?
Beef Jerky

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What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?
Root вееr.
(tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

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What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
A fence.
Credit: Leftover Laffy Taffy from Halloween. #157 Julie D., Boise, ID

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