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Does anyone else say their surname and spell it straight after cos no one knows how to spell it?

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Once upon a time, I was young and broke. But through years of hard work and dedication, I'm now no longer young

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NeverEnding story when i was a kid. NeverEnding story as an Adult

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Noise cancelling toilet

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My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more.

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Do you think they called the 'Saw' films saw so that people would say:
"Did you see Saw?"
"Yeah I saw Saw."
"Did you see Saw 2?"
"I saw Saw 2 too"
"Did you see Saw 3?"
"No but I saw Saw 4"
"Why would you see Saw 4 before you saw Saw 3 for?"

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The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. My phones calendar goes waay past that.
In a world that doesn't, Droid Does.

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I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said,
"Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

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I'm going to shove a lamp up your аss so you'll lighten the fuск up.

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I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta, now it’s a Ford Focus.

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Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fат people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks

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I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

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A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.

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I wasn’t staring at you I was trying to figure out if that’s your forehead or the moon

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I heard an uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like 40$

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Youre foreheads so big it makes kanyes ego small

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People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g
I know it’s really really really really really bad

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Why do downs kids blend in in geometry.
Their foreheads are angled.

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