Jokes

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage"
He looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then
He feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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Dамn вiтсh you got a big аss for head

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Average Kid: brings mp3 to school
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5

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What was the реdорhilе charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense

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What medicine do you take when your вuтт hurts ANSWER: assprin

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2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my вuтт fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times

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If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein

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How do you know that the U. S. suск at chess/
They lost two towers.

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The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them

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Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers

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I use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

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What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire
Hot wheels

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How come when women decide to кill their unborn baby its a “choice”. But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called “мurdеr”.

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

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You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

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