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There were once three brothers, Shiт, Shut up and Manners. One day Shiт got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shiт. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.”
“Shut up”
“No, I need to know your name.”
“Shut up.”
“Excuse me but where are your manners.”
“Round the corner picking up shiт.”
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Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A:To find Pooh!
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What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got рissеd off.
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I got in touch with my inner self today, it’s the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll
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What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? “I feel really wiped.”
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Johnny was watching TV when you hear them say вiтсh and ваsтаrds so he ask hes dad “what is a вiтсh and ваsтаrd.” dad say “a вiтсh is a female and a ваsтаrd is a mail.” then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say аss and shiт so he ask hes dad what shiт and аss means dad says “a shiт is shaving creme like what i’m putting on my face and аss is a coat why don’t you bug your mom.” so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuск so johnny ask his mom what fuск means mom says "fuск means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says “welcome вiтсh and ваsтаrd may i tack your аss” the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shiт on hes face and my mom i fuскing the turkey.
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Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the corona virus?
When someone sneezes every one shiтs they’re pants
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Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shiт. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shiт out of him!”
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The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
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What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
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Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ?
Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him .
Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms .
Dad: exactly son.
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Why hasn’t my dad come back?
No seriously I’m not joking
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There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.
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*Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: How far are we from land?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which direction?
Captain: Down.
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Plus de 100 ans après son naufrage, les plongeurs Belges ont été surpris de voir que la piscine du Titanic était toujours remplie d Das Schwimmbecken auf der Titanic ist immer noch voll. 2 Irish Divers investigating the Sunken Titanic................. Were really surprised to see the swimming pool was still full ;-) Titanic måtte jo være solid bygd da, siden det fortsatt er vann i bassenget ombord
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full
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The number 13?
Not on my watch
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
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