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What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped

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Flat Earthers

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What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool.
- A baby with flat armbands-

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My Xbox has been acting up lately…
So I painted it black to make it run faster

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I got kicked out of a hospital once, I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

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Want to hear a joke a bout milk… no it’s to cheesey.

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Doctor:
“Does your реnis burn after inтеrсоursе?”
Patient:
“I don’t know. I never tried lighting it.”

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What do u call nuts on ur chest? Chestnuts
What do u call nuts on the wall? Walnuts
What do u call nuts on ur сhin? A blowjob

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I told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it…

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My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.

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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Once I’n done choking you
You will be too.

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What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”

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I told my sister I was into inсеsт. She took it really hard. 😉😏

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How did stephen hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall

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When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

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My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

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