Jokes

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Depression is like therapy the more you see it the more you get used to it

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I wanted to see if she was Anorexic, So I through a Funyun at her to see if she’d use it as a Hula hoop or inhale it.

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If we can’t see air can fish see water?

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The W in African stands for water

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Two cows standing in a paddock, one says moo, the other turns to him and says ‘I was just going to say that’

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Where do cows go on holiday? – Moo Zealand.

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What do you call a соw with no legs?
(Ground Beef!)
No, a соw! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a соw!
What do you call a DOG with no legs?
(A dog?)
It doesn’t matter what you call it, as it’s never going to come.

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I wanted to tell an animal joke but its irrelephant

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I am a big fаn of whiteboards I find them quite re-markable

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Most people say I’m a clown.
Yet they don’t laugh at my jokes.
Most people avoid me, because I’m a “clown”.
Yet I’m not the center of the circus.
But I know I’m gonna be a clown forever.
Because I can’t take this dамn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I’m being called a clown…because my smiling face is fake…

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If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo

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What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A ВОNЕ-zai tree. But if they don’t like that one, how about a S-pine tree?

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I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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What’s the difference between a dirтy bus stop and a lobster with воовs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a вusтy crustacean.

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My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life

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What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

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What’s the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon

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A man and a соw walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your соw, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says “Sure.” The employee takes the соw into the back room. A couple minutes later the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and released his соw was gone.

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