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Two guys are drinking into the early hours and then decide to go sleep a bit and keep going. As they get to Roger’s home, Joe is impressed with a huge gong that Roger has in his living room. “That’s a really big gong you got there bro. Why?”
“Nah, that’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock! Look!” says Roger and bangs the gong with all his might.
Very shortly, a chorus of annoyed neighbors starts, “What the hеll, you crazy son of a gun, it’s 3 am!!!”

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94.
Every day, around 18 acres of pizza are eaten in America.

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95.
The ancient Romans used to make a toothpaste that contained urinе.

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98.
The eye of an ostrich is вiggеr than the brain.

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99.
The sunlight you see is in fact 8.5 minutes old – that’s how long it takes for light to travel to Earth from the Sun.

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100.
You accidentally eat around a pound (480 g) of insects every year.

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I want to thank Ed Hardy for making the game "Spot the Dоuсhеваg" that much easier.

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Wanna to go get a pizza and fuск?
No...
What you dont like pizza?

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Nerd Pick up line: Nice set of floppys.

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If you want to find out who loves you more and loyal. Stick your wife and dog in the trunk of a car and open it a hour later and see which one wants to give you kisses.

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Why don't birds wear pants?
Cause their рескеr's on their head.

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Where do squirrels end up after they die?
The squirrely gates

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My реnis is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.

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Why are goldfish the only snack that smiles back?
They're baked.

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Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street?
One of them was assaulted!

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You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.

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Girl - I have a boyfriend.
Guy - I have a pet goldfish.
Girl - What?
Guy - I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter.

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Do you like to party? Then crawl up my leg and have a ball!

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