Jokes

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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

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Oh My Goodness!! Guys, Rob is ROBIN the bird store!!!!

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The scientific name for a vine hangover is called "The Grape Depression"

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Once there was a Spanish speaking magician who promised a vanishing act. So he says,
"I will count to 3 and I will disappear!"
"Uno! Dos!" and then РООF! With a рuff of smoke he was gone, without even a Tres!

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Hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Nailed it.

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Teacher:for todays lesson...
Boy:bla bla bla...
Me:shoosh!!
Teacher:thank you!
So now we can continue with...
Me:SHOOSH!!!!!

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What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

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What do you call stinky noodles?
Fedit-cheeni

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A group of horses were moving down towards the horse court for horse jury.
One horse asks another, "Where do we enter again?"
The other horse replies indignantly, "Why the mane entrance of course!"

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What do hair accessories do after they finish a show?
They bow.

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What does a book have when it's far away?
A pager.

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I bumped into my mate in the pub last night who was looking a bit glum, so I asked him what was up.
“Well, I can’t afford anything anymore so I’ve had to cancel my golf and gym memberships, my Sky TV package and have to cut down on fаgs to 20 a week” he sighed.
“Because of the recession?” I asked.
“No” he replied. “I’ve been forced off benefits and been made to get a job.”

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I like to moan with pleasure during my prostate exams, it breaks that awkward silence.

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What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star?
"Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FАN!"

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Why are Antartian hurt by people's words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

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The following conversation took place this morning.
Me: Sorry boss can’t come in today my car has broken down.
Boss: What about the bus?
Me: I don’t have a bus.

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If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.

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If Jimmie cracked corn and no one cared, then why did they write a song about it?

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