Jokes

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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

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"I hate tacos" said no Juan ever

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What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handful of sheet.

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You're walking down the street and your toe falls off!
Who do you call?
You call a tow truck!

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What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaahh!

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I would make a pun about mirrors but its not really a good reflection of my pun ability skills and people might сrаск up.

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Q:What did the сhiрs say to the plate that fell off a stool
A:I hope u didnt get chipped
Kickass if u get it

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You stole my heart.
Now you're going into cardiac arrest.

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I love the phrase "bear with me" because it could either mean "please be patient" or "the heist at the zoo was a success".

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Why did the piece of cheese go to the gym?
To get shredded!

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Someone really close to me died yesterday. Luckily the train wasn’t very busy so I just moved seats.

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What has eight wheels but carries only one passenger?
A pair of roller skates.

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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

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Oh My Goodness!! Guys, Rob is ROBIN the bird store!!!!

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The scientific name for a vine hangover is called "The Grape Depression"

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I don't trust people with graph paper. They're always plotting something

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Once there was a Spanish speaking magician who promised a vanishing act. So he says,
"I will count to 3 and I will disappear!"
"Uno! Dos!" and then РООF! With a рuff of smoke he was gone, without even a Tres!

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Hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Nailed it.

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