Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Teacher:for todays lesson...
Boy:bla bla bla...
Me:shoosh!!
Teacher:thank you!
So now we can continue with...
Me:SHOOSH!!!!!

0

0

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

0

0

What do you call stinky noodles?
Fedit-cheeni

0

0

What do hair accessories do after they finish a show?
They bow.

0

0

What does a book have when it's far away?
A pager.

0

0

I bumped into my mate in the pub last night who was looking a bit glum, so I asked him what was up.
“Well, I can’t afford anything anymore so I’ve had to cancel my golf and gym memberships, my Sky TV package and have to cut down on fаgs to 20 a week” he sighed.
“Because of the recession?” I asked.
“No” he replied. “I’ve been forced off benefits and been made to get a job.”

0

0

Did you know that 85% percent of pie charts resemble Packman?

0

0

I like to moan with pleasure during my prostate exams, it breaks that awkward silence.

0

0

What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star?
"Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FАN!"

0

0

Why are Antartian hurt by people's words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

0

0

The following conversation took place this morning.
Me: Sorry boss can’t come in today my car has broken down.
Boss: What about the bus?
Me: I don’t have a bus.

0

0

If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.

0

0

Driving my daughter to her swimming lesson this morning, I asked
“So what are you doing today then?”
“It’s ‘locate and rescue’ today.” She said, “We’ve to dive under and grab a rubber brick from the bottom.”
I said “You’re going to have to hold your breath for a good while.”
“Why, is it hard to find?” She asked.
“No idea.” I said, winding up the windows “But I’ve just farted.”

0

0

Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins.

0

0

I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.

0

0

Boy: go to hell
Other boy: why getting lonely down their

0

0

A young apprentice optometrist recently got careless and got his hand caught in the lens grinder. He wasn't seriously hurt, but he certainly made a spectacle of himself.

0

0

What did the drug dealer say to the drug addict?
Weed make a cute couple.

0

0