Corny Jokes

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What did the ocean say to the sand?
Nothing — it just waved.

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Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Then it’d be a foot.

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When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.

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Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts?
He doesn’t want to be spotted.

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What's a lawyer's favorite drink?
Subpoena colada.

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What kind of shoes do burglars wear?
Sneakers.

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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing — they fast.

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Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarterback.

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Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.

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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
All the fans left.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels.

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Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?
He's a fungi.

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A moth visits a doctor, “Doctor please help me… I cut myself very badly 2 hours ago.”
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The doctor takes a look and says, “Goodness me, that looks bad! Why didn’t you come earlier?”
The moth says, “I waited for the lights to turn on in your office …”

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2 mosquitos are about to suск a sleeping man. Suddenly one of them says to the other:
“Hang on, something flew in my eye.”

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What sits up a tree and goes "aaaaaah"? An owl with a speech impediment.

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Question: Why is it so much fun to ride a train with a teacher?
Answer: He says spit out the gum and the train goes chew chew.

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Woman calls the police:
“Is it the police I'm with.”
Police officer:
“If you are with the police why would you call here?”

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Who’s there?
The love of your life.
Liar! Chocolate can’t speak!

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