Corny Jokes

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What do scholars eat when they're hungry?
Academia nuts.

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Why did the bicycle collapse?
It was two tired.

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How does a boar sign its name?
With a pig pen.

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What did the big flower say to the little flower?
"Hey there, bud."

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How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
With a соw-culator.

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Why was the robot so tired after his road trip?
He had a hard drive.

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Why should you never use "beef stew" as a password?
It’s not stroganoff.

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When do computers overheat?
When they need to vent.

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What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her?
"Namaste."

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Why didn't the skeleton get a prom date?
He didn't have the guts to ask anyone.

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Today I brought a pizza with me on the bus. The driver said: “Hey that is not a restaurant here.” I said: “I know, that’s why I brought my own food.”

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My mom loves gardening. She was so excited that spring finally arrived, she wet her plants.

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Pick up line: Hey girl, I overheard you saying that you’re on the lookout for some STUD! Well I’ve got STD, so all that’s missing now is u...

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Have you been picking your nose again?!
Why would I?! I’ve had it since I was born!

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I bought a Chihuahua for my wife. Chihuahuas are amazing. Despite the huge ears, bulging eyes and terrible breath, he’s very fond of her.

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Toilet jokes? Nah, not my number one jokes, really. But a good, solid number two!

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What do you call a totally unimportant elephant? An Irrelephant.

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Why did the baby strawberry cry?
His parents were in a jam.

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