Corny Jokes

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How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.

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Where do baby cats learn to swim?
The kitty pool.

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I was down to my last 100 dollars. I really didn’t know what to do. So I asked myself the key question. What would Jesus do? And then I went and turned it into wine.

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What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold.

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What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satis-factory.

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Why couldn’t the sailor learn his alphabet?
He kept getting lost at C.

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What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs.

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What do you call an unpredictable camera?
A loose Canon.

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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.

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Why is the grass so dangerous?
It’s full of blades.

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How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.

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What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie.

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How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
By the bark.

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How do snails fight?
They slug it out.

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Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!

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How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A tractor.

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Why can’t you trust duck doctors?
They’re all quacks.

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Why are spiders so smart?
They can find everything on the web.

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