Duck jokes

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Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack

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What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles and quacks like a duck?
I don't know either but it's in my kitchen please help.

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Secret Service no longer yells “Get down, Mr President” any more when the President is under attack
Now they yell “Donald, duck”

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What does a subatomic duck say?
Quark!

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?
A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

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I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...
It’s nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

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If someone tries to shoot the President...
The Secret Service will have to yell "Donald duck!"

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I just got in trouble from my parents for yelling "What the duck!"
They told me I'm not to use fowl language

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I was walking passed a farm and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’.
I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.

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I ordered giant duck at a fancy restaurant last night
The bill was huge!

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What will the secret service yell when something is hurtling towards the president?
Donald duck!

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What did the duck say to the cheese grader.
Nothing ducks can't talk

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Having a duck оrgy at my house...
If anyone wants to come on down.

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What do you call a mouse on 2 legs
Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiот"

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Did you know the Secret Service is no longer allowed to say "GET DOWN!" when the President is getting attacked?
Now they're required to say "Donald, duck!"

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If someone tries to assassinate Trump what will the secret service shout?
"Donald, duck"

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There are 2 ducks. One duck pulls his pants down. What does the other duck see?
His but-quack.

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How did the duck rob the bank?
It quacked the code to the vault.

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