Funny sayings

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

“My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me cry.”

1

0

“Today I laughed until my abs were tired, so I skipped the gym.”

1

0

“I’m never wrong. I’m just different levels of right.”

1

0

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

0

0

“Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.”

0

0

“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

0

0

“Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.”

0

0

“I’m really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.”

0

0

“The only scenario where you really need a landline today is when you’re trying to find your cell phone.”

0

0

“There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.”

0

0

“They say сriме doesn’t pay. So does my current job make me a criminal?”

0

0

“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”

0

0

“I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.”

0

0

“Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.”

0

0

“Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the вееr.”

0

0

“Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.”

0

0

“Do not let your mind wander too much. It is too small for you to let it out alone.”

0

0

“I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?”

0

0