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Why are there so few schools in the jungles of eastern Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs.

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Why are Apple staff absolutely forbidden to fаrт in Apple stores?
Because there are no windows.

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Why does your dog run into the corner each time the веll rings?
He’s a Boxer.

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Once you contract an infection of the bladder, urinе trouble.

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My friend commented that my clothes looked pretty gаy. Well, said I, they did come out of the closet...

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What kind of a driver doesn’t know how to drive?
The screwdriver.

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I got drunк yesterday and ate some scrabble tiles because it seemed fun. Now that I'm sober, I fear my next роор could spell disaster.

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I bought shoes from a second hand shop. I think they must've belonged to some junкiе though because I've been tripping the whole day.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Why? Because they’re blind.

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I have the memory of an elephant.
I very clearly remember seeing an elephant once in the Chicago zoo.

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Why did the lights go out?
They liked each other a lot.

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Who said grapes are soft? They never cry when you step on them, they just let out a bit of wine.

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I nearly drowned yesterday. It was a breathtaking experience.

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This may come across as cheesy - but I think you’re grate.

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What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?
Finds the nearest skyscraper.

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It suскs working from home today.
Peter (52), Fireman

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What would you call a female magician in the desert?
A sandwich."

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Why did Billy throw his pocket watch out of the window?
Because he heard his parents saying that time flies.

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