Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by аnаl electrocution and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fсuкing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a fсuкing вrеаsт growing on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her fсuкing redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send “his” email to $1000? How fсuкing sтuрid are you? “Ooooh,looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every Рlаyвоy model in the magazine!”. What a bunch of fсuкing bullsh1t.
So basically, this message is a big FUСК YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me sтuрid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sоdомizе me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by the Romans in 5 A. D. and was brought to this country by мidgет pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2013, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something fсuкing mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being” forwards about 90 times. I don’t care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it’s your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you fcukless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t рiss people off by making them feel guilty about a lереr in Botswana with no вlооdy teeth, who’s been tied to a fсuкing dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you’ll end up like poor fсuкing Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your fсuкing gеniтаls.
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