Horse jokes

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Why do boars who make horse sounds live near eachother?
Because they are neigh-boars.

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How do you properly discount a jiraffe?
You get off your high horse.

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I went to pick up the bag of horse hair I had ordered
Shopkeeper: we are out of horse hair but I do have this nice bag of prevaricating goose feathers
Me: I ordered horse hair. I am *not* taking this lying down!

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If Jack helps you on the horse
Are you going to help Jack off the horse?

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I knew it wouldn't go well when my sister told my dad that she wanted to be a horse, but I wasn't prepared for the way he went off on her.
... into the sunset.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked,
"Why the long face?"
The horse responded, "I finally realize that my alcoholism is disrupting my life at home and driving my family apart."

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Why don't horse stables have windows
Cause qho has ever heard of stable windows.
(this joke is from an old point & click spongebob game)

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You shouldn't say "i helped my uncle jack off a horse"
Instead you should say "I spent the summer working on my uncle's husbandry farm."

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Whats the worst name for a horse?
Elmer!

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I am going to buy a horse and name it "Mayo"
So that then I will actually enjoy Mayo neighs.

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What is a mute horse's favourite type of communication?
Morse

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Why did the pony order a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!

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Clear and concise writing can mean the difference between "I helped my uncle jack off a horse"...
And "I spent my summer working on the family's husbandry ranch."

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Do you want a stable friendship?
Get a horse.

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My doctor told me to stop eating pony meat
It was making me a little horse

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If jack was on A horse
If jack was on a horse....
And he wanted to get off the horse...
Would you help jack off the horse....

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I phoned up the vet and asked how my horse was getting on.
He said he's in a stable condition.

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What do you call a horse who takes all the groceries in at once?
A one trip pony

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