How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly? A: When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A: A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a dalmation? A: A dalmation knows when to stop chasing the ambulance. Q: What do slime molds have more of than lawyers? A: Respect. Q: What does molds, ooze, and lawyers have in common? A: They're all slime. Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?A: To get to the car accident on the other side. Q: What are some of the requirements in becoming a lawyer? A: You must be able to get muggers, rapists, and pope abusers off the hook, and must have at least one relative who works at IBM. Q: What kind of lure must you use if you want to attract lawyers so as to shoot them?A: You may use any as long as it yells every once in a while "I'm gonna sue!" or "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Q: What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers? A: He would starve to death. Q: Why don't hyenas eat lawyers?A: Even hyenas have some dignity.
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