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Go commit neck rope

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What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.
Answer:
The feather wouldn’t. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

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What’s a furry’s favorite news network?
Fox!

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When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope

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A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

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I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor…
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

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What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang

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The doctor and said he had good news and bad news. The Good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you yesterday.

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Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope???
Stopping it with a shovel.

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I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

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What do you say after committing inсеsт?
No Chromo!

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Me telling my parents im depressed: my parents, " no, ur just a little stressed and want attention, am i right?" My depression worsoning, me:
" ya ur totally right mom…" Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide…

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I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi’s concerts…
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

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My friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang

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Go commit Thanos finger snap.

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I did so much research that I got ВОNЕ-tired from doing this TIBIA honest. You probably didn’t find that HUMERUS. I got a SKELETON of these puns. I guess i could learn a FEMUR puns. I was wondering if the the creators of this site could TALUS how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I’m only 14 years-old.

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“Guess how I got to Germany so fast?”
“Because I was Russian!”

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Me: I kiss my mom on the lips
Friend: Uh, I guess that’s somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips
Friend: I gotta go

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