Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

0

0

You know when you walk into a shop and you come out empty empty handed and the people think you're stealing?

0

0

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirтy Ваsтаrds.

0

0

Do you know what Labor Day is?
Mommy's sure do!

0

0

Now that all of the coal mines are closed, all of those lumps of coal Santa left me are now worth a fortune!
I think I can corner the market with my supply alone... Thanks Santa!

0

0

Three drunkards were walking down the street when they came upon a pile of manure where they stopped. The first drunkard, upon observation of the manure said to the other two, "Looks like it...” the second, bending over it and sniffing, said to the other two, "smells like it..." the third, sticking his finger in it, said,
"Feels like it". "Good thing we didn't step in it", they all agreed as they turned and walked away.

0

0

A chicken walks up to a duck stood at the side of the road, and says ‘Don’t do it mate, you’ll never hear the end of it!’

0

0

What did the mortician say when his assistant suddenly quit on him?
"Go ahead, it's your funeral!"

0

0

If your last name is Samsonite, what do you put on your luggage?

0

0

I used to have a fear of climbing walls but I’ve finally managed to get over it.

0

0

I looked out of our window today and said to the wife…
“It’s like rush hour outside.”
“What, lots of traffic?” She replied.
“No, there’s a black and Chinese guy running down the road in pursuit of a criminal.”

0

0

I went to to the shop to buy 8 sprites i came home and realised id picked 7 up

0

0

What was the barristas favourite part about being arrested? The mug shots.

0

0

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

0

0

Yesterday I saw a keyboard with some missing keys. It ended up killing itself because it lacked self-Ctrl.

0

0

I'm sorry for my terrible Hurricane Sandy jokes, I know they вlоw.

0

0

They should make a Minecraft movie, it would be a blockbuster.

0

0

I'm taking part in a stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.

0

0